My 1980's
Although life seemed dreary and bleak it wasn’t, I just got a brand new pair of roller boots. It took me a while then I got the hang of them I was one of the first in my street to get a pair so there were all the neighbours’ kids wanting a go on them. I let some of the people play with them I charged them 10 pence and got myself my own lunch in school for a week I felt like a had a job. My mum was in wonder all the time, I was pulling out money in all directions and she couldn’t put food on the table. So I done the right thing gave her last four pounds I managed to save and we had a hearty meal for about three days. If she was happy I was happy.
My sisters were jealous of all the new friends I made because of my roller boots. They devised a plan that would leave me hurt and embarrassed. Dyane took a screwdriver from the kitchen drawer and went out to the landing. She had to be very quiet because the full close echoed and you didn’t want to wake up Maggie Murphy, she stayed on the top floor and mum said if we were bad in any way we would need to go to Maggie Murphy’s house and live. Truth be told we never actually seen Maggie we just heard how bad she was usually just after we got caught being mischievous. Dyane took the screwdriver and took out four screws from the wheel and soul of the boot. This was dangerous and silly but sibling rivalry in our home wasn’t rare. Me having no idea about the looseness of the skates would go out on them tomorrow to show off, because I was great at the stopping and starting. Dyane tiptoed back down the hallway putting the tool back in the drawer and sneaking to bed, I heard a noise but thought nothing of it and as quick as I reacted I was asleep.
The morning time hit and it was Saturday, I loved Saturday me they always seemed to go on forever and some of the best times you had my age are on a Saturday, So my dad used to say anyway. Now four people at my bit had roller boots and we wanted to go do something like a skating trip to the loch six miles away, we would walk up and then skate around a few times, it was only six miles away near Coatbridge. My dad used to say we should move to Coatbridge he said that’s where all the catholic family’s stayed. My dad was one of them activist people you hear about fighting for the cause he called it. I don’t really understand what that meant but I grew up with him so what he did I copied naturally. We arrived at the loch a whole hour later, the reason we got there late is that my mate Richey saw an ice cream van driving about and we wanted some sweeties and chocolate for a picnic we thought since we’re going to the loch we might as well get hyper on all the chocolate. When we got to the ice cream van we heard music coming from it. “ A band called wham” the guy said it was impressive. I didn’t get know what a jitterbug was but I sure wanted one after hearing that song. We bought all this sugar filled sherbet and chocolate for the park of course most of it was gone by the time we got there.
It was quite chilly at Drumpellier Loch that day. In fact it’s always cold I don’t ever remembering it being warm in the slightest. Maybe I should have learned and brought a coat. But I am young what can I do? That’s what mum used to use an excuse when I did bad stuff like smash Mrs Roberts’s window with a frog that time. I know it sounds weird a frog. How the hell? Basically I went to the burn one day in my wellies to get tadpoles, caught loads of the things I was well chuffed. I left them in a tub under my bed, forgetting about them they grew eventually to frogs. I smelt this horrible smell one day and went under the bed; a place mum dare not go. There were four small frogs they must have eaten the smaller frogs to survive. I was happy but scared in case mum found out no doubt she’d get Maggie down to shout as me or I’d have to see her my mum says her face has scars and she’s a real rough hooker, or looker. I cant remember what she said that well. I threw the frogs out the back window not knowing my mum was there I screamed and she turned her head I tried to lob the frog over the bin area walls onto the grass behind before she realised that I wasn’t just popping my head out to say hello. She continued hanging the washing unaware that I just threw a frog through Mrs Roberts’s window and she was now chasing a frog about her kitchen screaming. Shortly my mum noticed a distress and went over to see what was going on by this time she had got a lot of attention, she was still in pursue of the hopper her Zima frame couldn’t keep up with the feisty cannibal frog. My mum turned around and gave me THE STARE. This was meant for really bad times its as if just in that moment when she realises what you have done, death posses her looks straight at you, the saying goes” if looks could kill” My mums looks wouldn’t just kill they would torture, slap you with the big ring hand and chase you with a belt until you said sorry. Then kill you.
We sat around the loch looking at the evil swan monster from the side cautiously “because they can kill you with one wing”. Richey said. The loch was nice and we seen all the baby ducks they were lovely better pet than frogs but the park ranger said we couldn’t lift them up because they weren’t ducks they were baby swans and that was the reason the big mum swan was hissing at us. We ran away. Two other guys we were with, whose names escape me left the two of us about an hour later Richey and me stayed and eventually put our boots on and started skating. “My feet feel weird man,” I said twice rolling down the biggest hill. Suddenly and without warning one of my Skates broke, the back wheel went flying and so did I. Right into the loch.. Richey stopped looked in shock and came chasing after me. I was in the water I couldn’t swim I was being pulled out into the middle, apparently underground suction pipes cleaned the water its been known before for people to get caught in these pipes and drown, so the stories say. I was scared and screaming. Miles from the rubber ring thing and Richey leaped in and swam toward me in a daze of water and faintness. The last words I remember speaking were “Please don’t let me die. My life flashed before my eyes. It showed me my family, my mum and uncle tam, my dad and sisters the two of them. I collapsed into the water.
Blurry vision and a sore head I awoke in a hospital bed. My sister was crying.”Dyane why are you crying are you okay? Who died?” I said. “You nearly died. You and it was my fault I was jealous of the attention. I broke your skates please! Oh please don’t tell mum,” she replayed. I made a promise never to speak of it again because I loved my sisters and this is beyond Maggie Murphy bad this was like adoption bad. That was when these people who you don’t know come to your house and take your kids away. I saw it happen to Mr Higgins on my street. After his wife died of alcohol abuse or aids I forget what one. He was left with his two daughters and mum said “freaky going on in that house son I tell ye.” Later that week they took his daughters to a far away place, called Paisley. I never heard of it.
My mum was still in shock and I was still in bed recovering now at home. Richey came to see me. He was always talking about the loch and what happened I didn’t like hearing about it because I was still a bit shaken up, even worse than that time I was dangled with my feet over the top flat veranda as a dare. When I got better mum made her lovely soup she did in the big pot, that’s when you know the family is coming. To see me apparently, because of what happened. I ate my soup so fast because I never had anything decent to munch in when I was bed resting except fruit, oh and did you know? Tomatoes are a fruit. I learned that when the doctor told me to eat healthy to regain stealth and fitness.
For the next couple of weeks the house smelt like damp, it was cold and we thought the roof was going to fall in so we had to be moved out to number 65 at the top of the road before anything serious happened. A month later still nothing heard. A whole Three months went before it happened. “BOOOM” our old house roof blew right off. A gas explosion the papers said. I thought getting the damp was lucky meant where not dead. Mum seen this as a sign and my sisters where pretty hurt because they said they wanted to grow up in that house until they could leave. Mum seen this as a curse she said we didn’t go to Chappell enough and that’s what god does to protestant houses.
Time past, three years in fact I left school and got myself a job working on the Glasgow building site near Easterhouse. I used to have to walk through a bad area known at Toi. Barlanark and Toi fought every weekend in a gang fight. I tried not to take part but sometimes you get caught in the middle and the anger builds up and you just burst into this infuriated madman and punch and kick and even throw glass bottles. Gang fighting at my bit was notorious, crazy and violent. I remember getting a taxi home one night and I said Barlanark please. The taxi driver looked at me like a just spat on his wain and said,” bit rough there is it no” “ if you know the right people life goes by without trouble.” I said to him. He locked the taxi doors and rolled up the windows thinking I wasn’t going to pay because the area I live in. I paid him the fair but no tip and headed down the badly lightened lane toward my door. I saw a couple of shadowy figures at My Close wondering what was going on but being sly and not letting them see me. One of the men came into light and I recognised him from Toi. This wasn’t a good sign. They had a petrol Bomb. My mum and dad are in that house; my sisters are away on a school trip thankfully. I didn’t want anything to happen to my folks because of something I did stupidly getting involved with a gang fight. Then it occurred to me they aren’t going to throw that in my house. They were after Richey. He got into some trouble with a drug dealer and couldn’t pay him for whatever reason and this was his revenge. I needed a distraction to help out my mate. “ OI the polis” I shouted. The thugs then lit the petrol Bomb and threw it toward his window “Catholic junkie scum” I heard them shout. The bomb missed the middle floor flat of the close and Landed at the bottom of the stairs. I shouted up to him to bring down water then looked down. I was on fire. “Stop drop and roll stop drop and roll,” I kept saying so I did I had to take of my jeans and stomp on them. They where ruined. In the midst of all the smoke and fire the whole street appeared to see what the commotion was. Richey ran down to see if I was okay. The police arrived.
Sectarianism and gang fighting was major in Barlanark. Tensions were always high in the local pub. I’ve witnessed a chair going through the window more than once. Tension mounted because of the football game. The Winners cup, the final round. Celtic v Rangers. Celtic won. Rangers and Celtic fans everywhere caused mayhem. Our street once again divided between religions. What religion had to do with football I don’t know but the hatred between these people, once friends now enemies because of a football team. All I heard was I.R.A, U.D.A. it was nothing new that’s all you got in the news papers as well for four years there’s been non stop terror. Because of religion. Living in Glasgow in this time is like living in Ireland. There was so much temptation going on around me it was just a matter of time before I got sucked in to a fight or three.
Dad died, man it was a hard time. Depression hit my mum hard, my sisters now lived in a flat in Castlemilk. Apparently it was the new up and coming council housing area, two times the size of Easterhouse. I was still in Barlanark with My mum after the funeral. She was getting to that age she needed me more than I needed her and if I went it would break her heart. So I lived with her and we where happy. I know this may seem rude but when dad died it was like mum became this new person. Like a weight had been lifted. The depression lasted a whole four weeks then she said “ what am I doing at this cooker I’m not a ball and chain anymore.” I laughed to lighten the mood. Mum was right she could fulfil her dreams now. They weren’t exciting but she could work now. Dad never let her work “ I’m the bread winner.” He used to shout when she brought it up in discussion. Now my uncle Tam can get her a job cleaning in the school, he was the janitor. They always needed an extra hand at the old primary. My mum aged forty and me aged nineteen lives was finally going in the right direction. The eighties have nearly passed. And the nights are filled with laughter in my house. I have grown up and I know what is wrong and what is right. I didn’t know before but now I do.
It was 1989 and I decided to celebrate my 21st birthday in style at a club called McKinley in Shettleston.. I invited Richey I’ve not spoken to him since he got off drugs but his dad told me he was much better and life for him was promising. We left my house and went to the pub before the club to get a round in, as it was my birthday I didn’t pay it was ace. Mum was all chuffed and in her best gear for the night ahead. Everyone had their cameras out for a night to remember. “Richey mate how’s life?” I shouted at the bar when he walked in. “happy 21st man” he replied. It’s not long till Richey turns 21, a couple of months. He looked healthier after a bad turn in the winter the night before.
Walking into the club there was balloons and banners all pre set. It was the best’ nothing could ruin this night. The drinks kept flowing and the laughter echoed through the night until about 2 o’clock in the morning. “Mate, mate I know its your day but I have news. You want to come outside for a fag and I’ll tell you,” said Richey. “ Ay mate no worries wait out side I’m just saying bye to my mum she’s heading home.” I replayed. The cold air hit you when you left the club and the streets where filled with siren noises and muffled conversation. We sat and he looked it me with a worried look on his face. I knew this look. I remembered this look. “I saved your life once and you saved my house from burning years ago. We are best mates and nothing ever going to change that. I’m sorry I’ve not been there for you man. I’ve been ill. It wasn’t drugs man I wasn’t on drugs the paleness the injections the staying in the house all the time, my dad said it was drugs but its not. My dad said it was a Poofs illness and I was never supposed to get it. I have aids.” He cried. I never said a word I looked at him. I hugged him. I never knew anyone to get aids before except Freddy Mercury. “So does that mean you’re a gay?” I asked not knowing much about the disease. “ No mate woman carry it to!” he said calmly. “ I wont make my 21st so I’ve been celebrating with you tonight., sorry I didn’t tell you, the chick you seen me with she’s not my girlfriend she’s a nurse. It’s a good distraction thought mate she’s sexy.” I laughed sobbingly and told Richey that his secret was safe with me and we continued to have a blast until 4am.
Hangover kicks in and I ask myself if it was a dream, “did Richey actually tell me that stuff last night.” He did I know he did, damn.
Months pass and time grows shorter for the lad down the road. Richey moved to a hospice near Airdrie. That’s where he would die. I never visited. I couldn’t. Even the thought of me going there and seeing him in some state killed me inside.
A week later I was carrying the coffin of my once best pal. Who saved my life once? He did. I saved his life too. He was there for me; I’ll never forget him never never never………
New year 1990, “a toast to Richey in heaven” I yelled.” to Richey” they all said.
My sisters were jealous of all the new friends I made because of my roller boots. They devised a plan that would leave me hurt and embarrassed. Dyane took a screwdriver from the kitchen drawer and went out to the landing. She had to be very quiet because the full close echoed and you didn’t want to wake up Maggie Murphy, she stayed on the top floor and mum said if we were bad in any way we would need to go to Maggie Murphy’s house and live. Truth be told we never actually seen Maggie we just heard how bad she was usually just after we got caught being mischievous. Dyane took the screwdriver and took out four screws from the wheel and soul of the boot. This was dangerous and silly but sibling rivalry in our home wasn’t rare. Me having no idea about the looseness of the skates would go out on them tomorrow to show off, because I was great at the stopping and starting. Dyane tiptoed back down the hallway putting the tool back in the drawer and sneaking to bed, I heard a noise but thought nothing of it and as quick as I reacted I was asleep.
The morning time hit and it was Saturday, I loved Saturday me they always seemed to go on forever and some of the best times you had my age are on a Saturday, So my dad used to say anyway. Now four people at my bit had roller boots and we wanted to go do something like a skating trip to the loch six miles away, we would walk up and then skate around a few times, it was only six miles away near Coatbridge. My dad used to say we should move to Coatbridge he said that’s where all the catholic family’s stayed. My dad was one of them activist people you hear about fighting for the cause he called it. I don’t really understand what that meant but I grew up with him so what he did I copied naturally. We arrived at the loch a whole hour later, the reason we got there late is that my mate Richey saw an ice cream van driving about and we wanted some sweeties and chocolate for a picnic we thought since we’re going to the loch we might as well get hyper on all the chocolate. When we got to the ice cream van we heard music coming from it. “ A band called wham” the guy said it was impressive. I didn’t get know what a jitterbug was but I sure wanted one after hearing that song. We bought all this sugar filled sherbet and chocolate for the park of course most of it was gone by the time we got there.
It was quite chilly at Drumpellier Loch that day. In fact it’s always cold I don’t ever remembering it being warm in the slightest. Maybe I should have learned and brought a coat. But I am young what can I do? That’s what mum used to use an excuse when I did bad stuff like smash Mrs Roberts’s window with a frog that time. I know it sounds weird a frog. How the hell? Basically I went to the burn one day in my wellies to get tadpoles, caught loads of the things I was well chuffed. I left them in a tub under my bed, forgetting about them they grew eventually to frogs. I smelt this horrible smell one day and went under the bed; a place mum dare not go. There were four small frogs they must have eaten the smaller frogs to survive. I was happy but scared in case mum found out no doubt she’d get Maggie down to shout as me or I’d have to see her my mum says her face has scars and she’s a real rough hooker, or looker. I cant remember what she said that well. I threw the frogs out the back window not knowing my mum was there I screamed and she turned her head I tried to lob the frog over the bin area walls onto the grass behind before she realised that I wasn’t just popping my head out to say hello. She continued hanging the washing unaware that I just threw a frog through Mrs Roberts’s window and she was now chasing a frog about her kitchen screaming. Shortly my mum noticed a distress and went over to see what was going on by this time she had got a lot of attention, she was still in pursue of the hopper her Zima frame couldn’t keep up with the feisty cannibal frog. My mum turned around and gave me THE STARE. This was meant for really bad times its as if just in that moment when she realises what you have done, death posses her looks straight at you, the saying goes” if looks could kill” My mums looks wouldn’t just kill they would torture, slap you with the big ring hand and chase you with a belt until you said sorry. Then kill you.
We sat around the loch looking at the evil swan monster from the side cautiously “because they can kill you with one wing”. Richey said. The loch was nice and we seen all the baby ducks they were lovely better pet than frogs but the park ranger said we couldn’t lift them up because they weren’t ducks they were baby swans and that was the reason the big mum swan was hissing at us. We ran away. Two other guys we were with, whose names escape me left the two of us about an hour later Richey and me stayed and eventually put our boots on and started skating. “My feet feel weird man,” I said twice rolling down the biggest hill. Suddenly and without warning one of my Skates broke, the back wheel went flying and so did I. Right into the loch.. Richey stopped looked in shock and came chasing after me. I was in the water I couldn’t swim I was being pulled out into the middle, apparently underground suction pipes cleaned the water its been known before for people to get caught in these pipes and drown, so the stories say. I was scared and screaming. Miles from the rubber ring thing and Richey leaped in and swam toward me in a daze of water and faintness. The last words I remember speaking were “Please don’t let me die. My life flashed before my eyes. It showed me my family, my mum and uncle tam, my dad and sisters the two of them. I collapsed into the water.
Blurry vision and a sore head I awoke in a hospital bed. My sister was crying.”Dyane why are you crying are you okay? Who died?” I said. “You nearly died. You and it was my fault I was jealous of the attention. I broke your skates please! Oh please don’t tell mum,” she replayed. I made a promise never to speak of it again because I loved my sisters and this is beyond Maggie Murphy bad this was like adoption bad. That was when these people who you don’t know come to your house and take your kids away. I saw it happen to Mr Higgins on my street. After his wife died of alcohol abuse or aids I forget what one. He was left with his two daughters and mum said “freaky going on in that house son I tell ye.” Later that week they took his daughters to a far away place, called Paisley. I never heard of it.
My mum was still in shock and I was still in bed recovering now at home. Richey came to see me. He was always talking about the loch and what happened I didn’t like hearing about it because I was still a bit shaken up, even worse than that time I was dangled with my feet over the top flat veranda as a dare. When I got better mum made her lovely soup she did in the big pot, that’s when you know the family is coming. To see me apparently, because of what happened. I ate my soup so fast because I never had anything decent to munch in when I was bed resting except fruit, oh and did you know? Tomatoes are a fruit. I learned that when the doctor told me to eat healthy to regain stealth and fitness.
For the next couple of weeks the house smelt like damp, it was cold and we thought the roof was going to fall in so we had to be moved out to number 65 at the top of the road before anything serious happened. A month later still nothing heard. A whole Three months went before it happened. “BOOOM” our old house roof blew right off. A gas explosion the papers said. I thought getting the damp was lucky meant where not dead. Mum seen this as a sign and my sisters where pretty hurt because they said they wanted to grow up in that house until they could leave. Mum seen this as a curse she said we didn’t go to Chappell enough and that’s what god does to protestant houses.
Time past, three years in fact I left school and got myself a job working on the Glasgow building site near Easterhouse. I used to have to walk through a bad area known at Toi. Barlanark and Toi fought every weekend in a gang fight. I tried not to take part but sometimes you get caught in the middle and the anger builds up and you just burst into this infuriated madman and punch and kick and even throw glass bottles. Gang fighting at my bit was notorious, crazy and violent. I remember getting a taxi home one night and I said Barlanark please. The taxi driver looked at me like a just spat on his wain and said,” bit rough there is it no” “ if you know the right people life goes by without trouble.” I said to him. He locked the taxi doors and rolled up the windows thinking I wasn’t going to pay because the area I live in. I paid him the fair but no tip and headed down the badly lightened lane toward my door. I saw a couple of shadowy figures at My Close wondering what was going on but being sly and not letting them see me. One of the men came into light and I recognised him from Toi. This wasn’t a good sign. They had a petrol Bomb. My mum and dad are in that house; my sisters are away on a school trip thankfully. I didn’t want anything to happen to my folks because of something I did stupidly getting involved with a gang fight. Then it occurred to me they aren’t going to throw that in my house. They were after Richey. He got into some trouble with a drug dealer and couldn’t pay him for whatever reason and this was his revenge. I needed a distraction to help out my mate. “ OI the polis” I shouted. The thugs then lit the petrol Bomb and threw it toward his window “Catholic junkie scum” I heard them shout. The bomb missed the middle floor flat of the close and Landed at the bottom of the stairs. I shouted up to him to bring down water then looked down. I was on fire. “Stop drop and roll stop drop and roll,” I kept saying so I did I had to take of my jeans and stomp on them. They where ruined. In the midst of all the smoke and fire the whole street appeared to see what the commotion was. Richey ran down to see if I was okay. The police arrived.
Sectarianism and gang fighting was major in Barlanark. Tensions were always high in the local pub. I’ve witnessed a chair going through the window more than once. Tension mounted because of the football game. The Winners cup, the final round. Celtic v Rangers. Celtic won. Rangers and Celtic fans everywhere caused mayhem. Our street once again divided between religions. What religion had to do with football I don’t know but the hatred between these people, once friends now enemies because of a football team. All I heard was I.R.A, U.D.A. it was nothing new that’s all you got in the news papers as well for four years there’s been non stop terror. Because of religion. Living in Glasgow in this time is like living in Ireland. There was so much temptation going on around me it was just a matter of time before I got sucked in to a fight or three.
Dad died, man it was a hard time. Depression hit my mum hard, my sisters now lived in a flat in Castlemilk. Apparently it was the new up and coming council housing area, two times the size of Easterhouse. I was still in Barlanark with My mum after the funeral. She was getting to that age she needed me more than I needed her and if I went it would break her heart. So I lived with her and we where happy. I know this may seem rude but when dad died it was like mum became this new person. Like a weight had been lifted. The depression lasted a whole four weeks then she said “ what am I doing at this cooker I’m not a ball and chain anymore.” I laughed to lighten the mood. Mum was right she could fulfil her dreams now. They weren’t exciting but she could work now. Dad never let her work “ I’m the bread winner.” He used to shout when she brought it up in discussion. Now my uncle Tam can get her a job cleaning in the school, he was the janitor. They always needed an extra hand at the old primary. My mum aged forty and me aged nineteen lives was finally going in the right direction. The eighties have nearly passed. And the nights are filled with laughter in my house. I have grown up and I know what is wrong and what is right. I didn’t know before but now I do.
It was 1989 and I decided to celebrate my 21st birthday in style at a club called McKinley in Shettleston.. I invited Richey I’ve not spoken to him since he got off drugs but his dad told me he was much better and life for him was promising. We left my house and went to the pub before the club to get a round in, as it was my birthday I didn’t pay it was ace. Mum was all chuffed and in her best gear for the night ahead. Everyone had their cameras out for a night to remember. “Richey mate how’s life?” I shouted at the bar when he walked in. “happy 21st man” he replied. It’s not long till Richey turns 21, a couple of months. He looked healthier after a bad turn in the winter the night before.
Walking into the club there was balloons and banners all pre set. It was the best’ nothing could ruin this night. The drinks kept flowing and the laughter echoed through the night until about 2 o’clock in the morning. “Mate, mate I know its your day but I have news. You want to come outside for a fag and I’ll tell you,” said Richey. “ Ay mate no worries wait out side I’m just saying bye to my mum she’s heading home.” I replayed. The cold air hit you when you left the club and the streets where filled with siren noises and muffled conversation. We sat and he looked it me with a worried look on his face. I knew this look. I remembered this look. “I saved your life once and you saved my house from burning years ago. We are best mates and nothing ever going to change that. I’m sorry I’ve not been there for you man. I’ve been ill. It wasn’t drugs man I wasn’t on drugs the paleness the injections the staying in the house all the time, my dad said it was drugs but its not. My dad said it was a Poofs illness and I was never supposed to get it. I have aids.” He cried. I never said a word I looked at him. I hugged him. I never knew anyone to get aids before except Freddy Mercury. “So does that mean you’re a gay?” I asked not knowing much about the disease. “ No mate woman carry it to!” he said calmly. “ I wont make my 21st so I’ve been celebrating with you tonight., sorry I didn’t tell you, the chick you seen me with she’s not my girlfriend she’s a nurse. It’s a good distraction thought mate she’s sexy.” I laughed sobbingly and told Richey that his secret was safe with me and we continued to have a blast until 4am.
Hangover kicks in and I ask myself if it was a dream, “did Richey actually tell me that stuff last night.” He did I know he did, damn.
Months pass and time grows shorter for the lad down the road. Richey moved to a hospice near Airdrie. That’s where he would die. I never visited. I couldn’t. Even the thought of me going there and seeing him in some state killed me inside.
A week later I was carrying the coffin of my once best pal. Who saved my life once? He did. I saved his life too. He was there for me; I’ll never forget him never never never………
New year 1990, “a toast to Richey in heaven” I yelled.” to Richey” they all said.
Enjoyed reading this
ReplyDelete