In the Midsts of things conclusion.
It was the 1st of September 1994 and my mum told me to go to the shops to get milk and bread. On the way to the shops a man in a cap followed me. He stayed at a distance and kept looking over at me. I felt uneasy and started to pick up speed and eventually ran through the lane. The man backed off and I thought nothing of it until there was a knock at my door later that day. My mum went down the hall and looked through the peephole in the door. She looked reluctant to open the door but did it any way with a vague expression on her face. She told the person to come in and keep quiet because she thought I was asleep for college, but I wasn't asleep and heard it all. I crept down the hallway and looked through the door?. It was the same man from this morning, who was he? and why did my mum invite him in? I opened the door and my mum looked at me and introduced me to the man. Paul this is your dad she said with a weird smile. I looked at him and didn't now what to say. I sort of stuttered and shook his hand. I couldn?t help but feel this built up anger. Questions ran through my head like where has he been? Why is he here now? I didn't say much I just sat with a cup of tea and listened to what he had to say. He explained that he was in and out of prison and couldn't face me meeting him while he was considered a criminal. I wasn't shocked at this at all because living in the east end of Glasgow and being born and bread in the schemes this was common. We sat and had a chat until two in the morning and he fell asleep on the couch for the night. I went to bed.
When the morning came I woke at half seven and started getting ready for college. I went into the living room and seen my dad asleep on the couch. I couldn't help but stare in a sense of disbelief .He woke up and noticed me making my packed lunch for college, he came into the kitchen and put on the kettle. He looked at me in the eye and said, I'm sorry wee man? I said that I couldn't forget the fact he wasn't there for me but why dwell on the past. We agreed to start fresh. As I was walking out the door catch my bus to college he told me to wait and he would run me to college in his car. I Thought that it would be better than sitting for an hour on the bus so I took the chance and he dropped me off in the rich part of Glasgow. I said thanks and walked towards the main gate. I thought about him all day and didn't seem to concentrate on the work in class. I sat myself at lunch to gather my thoughts and get some studying under my belt. So I tried with no avail to get written work done.
Two weeks past and my dad was still around he announced that he had work in Liverpool. He asked me to move down with him and share a flat. I had to make a choice. It was so sudden and I was left to speak to my mum. My mum told me to make whatever choice I wanted as long as I was happy. So I did it I made a decision to stay and finish my studies in Glasgow. I had to say goodbye to my dad again. Maybe we would meet up again and I could always go visit in the future. I was upset in a way but because I didn't know him to the extent I should have it didn?t hurt my feelings that much. I gave him a hug and wished him luck. He kissed my mum on the cheek and said thanks for letting him stay with us. With a quick wave he was gone down the hill and round the corner, never to be seen in Glasgow again.
Clare wanted me to join Darren, her and Dayton for lunch. I went and told them about my dad. They seemed happy I met him but sympathised with the fact he had to go work in England. I explained how the video shop wasn?t doing well in business and my hours have been cut to weekends only. I told them I would never see my dad again because I wouldn?t have enough cash to travel to Liverpool unless he came and got me. It looked like this was the end of my dad's relationship with me again.
I was finishing my second year at college and had lots of options. The distraction of my dad has passed and I was enjoying the summer, as my 19th birthday was only a week away. On the day I got a card through the door from him. He sent me 200 and told me not to use it to go see him but to spoil myself. So I didn't think twice and spent it all in a week on cloths, food and a great night out for my birthday. Several days later, after the hangover had gone I got another letter through the post, the letter told me I got accepted back into college to finish my graduate year. I was overwhelmed and showed my mum straight away. She shared in the excitement. James joined my college after the summer on an apprentice-plumbing course. It was quite cool having a familiar face around. Someone else from the rough part of town wanting to make an effort I was well chuffed.
As the year went on I studied my arse off so I could graduate and get into a decent university. I was studying advanced journalism and it was difficult but I was able to complete the first term with extra credit so the rest of the year should be a breeze. I met James for lunch every day he was in. our routine was to walk to the shop get cigarettes and buy lunch. Twice a week it was the same routine. The conversations of past memories and future dreams filled the air and we became closer as friends due to this.
The year was ending in one month and I was passing I got into four different universities and was faced with yet another decision. One of the opportunities that occurred was Liverpool University. A friend I chat to online recommended the journalism course there to me. His screen name was "Merlin" I chatted to Merlin every so often and he or she gave me tips and advice on how to improve my work and they sent me a study guide for my final.
I said goodbyes to all my college friends and headed home. I told everyone about my options and how well I done in college. Some people where jealous and started nit picking on some previous works I wrote about the scheme. I took this in my stride and continued my meaningful gloating. I know I had to look for inspiration in one place before I made a decision. The next day I headed to the graveyard to see Daniel and Richard.
The morning was misty and the grass had a shade of grey to its usually bright glow. I walked through the lane and into the graveyard. As I walked down the path to there joined graves I hesitated. Memories came flooding back about who I became and what I did. A familiar feeling guilt and shame transfixed me in to a halt and I didn't want to go. I couldn't say what I did or who I became to the two nicest guys in the world. They would never tempt me into doing anything like drugs. At least I hope they wouldn't have. I guess I will never know. I came to my senses and walked to the gravestone. I faced them and told my story to them. I waited on a reply stupidly almost forgetting they died six years ago. I left and met my mum later that day.
In the cafe I was chatting to my mum about what to do. She advised me on Liverpool University so decided to go. She called my dad so I had a place to stay. I was to travel down in one week. This would be goodbye to Glasgow and goodbye to life, as I know it. I was becoming something, something great.
We had a joined 20th birthday party and my goodbye party everyone showed up. The best night of my life was underway and I got lots of cards and gifts. My sisters all showed up as my mum walked in with a cake they all started singing, " for he's a jolly good fellow" then they all shouted 'speech speech' so I stood up and gave my speech. Thanks everyone for coming here tonight. I can't believe so many people showed up to say good luck and happy birthday. Although I did notice only one present each for a double celebration, so not fair. No I'm kidding. I just wanted to say thanks for everything. I went through a tough time a couple of years back and my sisters and friends stood by me through thick and thin. I met my dad and will meet him again when I leave Glasgow. At that moment my mum started crying and pulled out a tissue. Although it was a celebration a lot of people where upset I was leaving it was like the end or an era. I broke the chain of events in Glasgow because I escaped. No longer will people from the scheme follow in their fathers footsteps, they can decide to live a life themselves. A strange feeling of realisation swept through me and as the night ended so did my past.
Liverpool was a massive city from the towering city centre to the local shops and businesses. It felt like Glasgow but better. I went to my dads flat and gave him a hug as I walked through the door. He was so pleased to see me and I was chuffed too. I start university tomorrow and can't wait to finish and be successful. It was difficult but I made it. I need to finish an essay for my induction and thought tonight would be the perfect time to complete it. I went to my dad's laptop and signed on. His Internet chat name was Merlin.
When the morning came I woke at half seven and started getting ready for college. I went into the living room and seen my dad asleep on the couch. I couldn't help but stare in a sense of disbelief .He woke up and noticed me making my packed lunch for college, he came into the kitchen and put on the kettle. He looked at me in the eye and said, I'm sorry wee man? I said that I couldn't forget the fact he wasn't there for me but why dwell on the past. We agreed to start fresh. As I was walking out the door catch my bus to college he told me to wait and he would run me to college in his car. I Thought that it would be better than sitting for an hour on the bus so I took the chance and he dropped me off in the rich part of Glasgow. I said thanks and walked towards the main gate. I thought about him all day and didn't seem to concentrate on the work in class. I sat myself at lunch to gather my thoughts and get some studying under my belt. So I tried with no avail to get written work done.
Two weeks past and my dad was still around he announced that he had work in Liverpool. He asked me to move down with him and share a flat. I had to make a choice. It was so sudden and I was left to speak to my mum. My mum told me to make whatever choice I wanted as long as I was happy. So I did it I made a decision to stay and finish my studies in Glasgow. I had to say goodbye to my dad again. Maybe we would meet up again and I could always go visit in the future. I was upset in a way but because I didn't know him to the extent I should have it didn?t hurt my feelings that much. I gave him a hug and wished him luck. He kissed my mum on the cheek and said thanks for letting him stay with us. With a quick wave he was gone down the hill and round the corner, never to be seen in Glasgow again.
Clare wanted me to join Darren, her and Dayton for lunch. I went and told them about my dad. They seemed happy I met him but sympathised with the fact he had to go work in England. I explained how the video shop wasn?t doing well in business and my hours have been cut to weekends only. I told them I would never see my dad again because I wouldn?t have enough cash to travel to Liverpool unless he came and got me. It looked like this was the end of my dad's relationship with me again.
I was finishing my second year at college and had lots of options. The distraction of my dad has passed and I was enjoying the summer, as my 19th birthday was only a week away. On the day I got a card through the door from him. He sent me 200 and told me not to use it to go see him but to spoil myself. So I didn't think twice and spent it all in a week on cloths, food and a great night out for my birthday. Several days later, after the hangover had gone I got another letter through the post, the letter told me I got accepted back into college to finish my graduate year. I was overwhelmed and showed my mum straight away. She shared in the excitement. James joined my college after the summer on an apprentice-plumbing course. It was quite cool having a familiar face around. Someone else from the rough part of town wanting to make an effort I was well chuffed.
As the year went on I studied my arse off so I could graduate and get into a decent university. I was studying advanced journalism and it was difficult but I was able to complete the first term with extra credit so the rest of the year should be a breeze. I met James for lunch every day he was in. our routine was to walk to the shop get cigarettes and buy lunch. Twice a week it was the same routine. The conversations of past memories and future dreams filled the air and we became closer as friends due to this.
The year was ending in one month and I was passing I got into four different universities and was faced with yet another decision. One of the opportunities that occurred was Liverpool University. A friend I chat to online recommended the journalism course there to me. His screen name was "Merlin" I chatted to Merlin every so often and he or she gave me tips and advice on how to improve my work and they sent me a study guide for my final.
I said goodbyes to all my college friends and headed home. I told everyone about my options and how well I done in college. Some people where jealous and started nit picking on some previous works I wrote about the scheme. I took this in my stride and continued my meaningful gloating. I know I had to look for inspiration in one place before I made a decision. The next day I headed to the graveyard to see Daniel and Richard.
The morning was misty and the grass had a shade of grey to its usually bright glow. I walked through the lane and into the graveyard. As I walked down the path to there joined graves I hesitated. Memories came flooding back about who I became and what I did. A familiar feeling guilt and shame transfixed me in to a halt and I didn't want to go. I couldn't say what I did or who I became to the two nicest guys in the world. They would never tempt me into doing anything like drugs. At least I hope they wouldn't have. I guess I will never know. I came to my senses and walked to the gravestone. I faced them and told my story to them. I waited on a reply stupidly almost forgetting they died six years ago. I left and met my mum later that day.
In the cafe I was chatting to my mum about what to do. She advised me on Liverpool University so decided to go. She called my dad so I had a place to stay. I was to travel down in one week. This would be goodbye to Glasgow and goodbye to life, as I know it. I was becoming something, something great.
We had a joined 20th birthday party and my goodbye party everyone showed up. The best night of my life was underway and I got lots of cards and gifts. My sisters all showed up as my mum walked in with a cake they all started singing, " for he's a jolly good fellow" then they all shouted 'speech speech' so I stood up and gave my speech. Thanks everyone for coming here tonight. I can't believe so many people showed up to say good luck and happy birthday. Although I did notice only one present each for a double celebration, so not fair. No I'm kidding. I just wanted to say thanks for everything. I went through a tough time a couple of years back and my sisters and friends stood by me through thick and thin. I met my dad and will meet him again when I leave Glasgow. At that moment my mum started crying and pulled out a tissue. Although it was a celebration a lot of people where upset I was leaving it was like the end or an era. I broke the chain of events in Glasgow because I escaped. No longer will people from the scheme follow in their fathers footsteps, they can decide to live a life themselves. A strange feeling of realisation swept through me and as the night ended so did my past.
Liverpool was a massive city from the towering city centre to the local shops and businesses. It felt like Glasgow but better. I went to my dads flat and gave him a hug as I walked through the door. He was so pleased to see me and I was chuffed too. I start university tomorrow and can't wait to finish and be successful. It was difficult but I made it. I need to finish an essay for my induction and thought tonight would be the perfect time to complete it. I went to my dad's laptop and signed on. His Internet chat name was Merlin.
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