In the midst of things.pt 2
It was summer time and I had finished up with school, not that I cared about school while I was there. Mostly being out my face or dealing pills to the seniors, this made me think of school as a waste of time but time to make money. Education was now my second priority. My mum was now getting better but I wasn't. My sister told me to get better and tried to stop behaving the way I was. Being seventeen I couldn?t care less, my mum and sisters never made me feel better. Stuck in a dreary bleak street with only minimum excitement. Why was I doing this? Darren and James didn?t get addicted and I realised they were to blame for me. They knew I was at least two years younger than them and took advantage of this. Or did they? Maybe this is me just trying to find an excuse for the way I was acting, the drugs and the booze.
I hadn't decided what to do after summer and signed on like my mates. Getting money for no reason and sitting about the house getting drunk on my own. Was I going to get trapped in Glasgow? I had to make a change I needed help. I went to my sister's house and sat with a glass of cider. We spoke about mum and how a year of therapy and morphine had helped her cut the habit. My sister kept comparing the way she was to the way I was acting. I argued that I didn't behave that way but in truth I knew I did. We sat in silence for a while and she told me to leave because she was going to bed. I asked her for money. She wanted to know why I needed money and I told her the truth. I needed money for drugs. She refused and started shouting at me. I slammed the door and left the house in a confused state of mind. I knew I had to get money somewhere and the way I felt now I needed to perk up big time. I sat in the close listening to the echo of the neighbours. It was after midnight and I still sat there in my sister's close in a curious state of mind. I had a plan. Was this the right thing to do? I didn't care I needed cash. I crept back up the stairs and twisted the lock on my sister's door. It was always a little loose so I got in no problem. She was asleep I had to be quiet. I went into the living room and saw her watch. She got it for her 20th birthday I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I saw her jacket. It was a designer jacket and knew it was worth at least fifty pounds. I rolled it up and left the living room. As I was walking down the hall I was looking at the family photos on the wall. I crept down to the end of the hall where my sister lay and slowly crept by her room door. I looked inside and seen her sleeping. We shared a room when we lived together and memories of childhood flooded my head. I walked into the room and my shadow appeared on the wall due to the moonlight shining through the window. She sat straight up and looked at me. My eyes were bloodshot and welling up. My facial expression was that of disbelief. I fell to my knees with the watch and jacket in hand. I was crying, I said how sorry I was and continues to cry. Ii pleaded that I needed help and I was sick and twisted and had no control of my life I needed out of my routine I needed help. Please help me. Please? I pleaded. She looked right at me and said ' go to the bottom of the bed you better not stick your feet in my face' I fell asleep.
I stayed with my sister for the next three months and completely stopped taking drugs. It was difficult. I was becoming a different man and I noticed this every day growing stronger and every week getting smarted and better. I couldn?t help but feel guilty and ashamed due to the way I behaved. It was a year of random violence. A year of ill thought and fucked up nights involving drugs and random people who I hardly knew. One day I got dressed and left my sisters house to get the bus to see my mum for the first time. I phoned Darren and James to meet me in the scheme when I got off the bus because I wasn't sure about the place since I left. I walked to my mum?s house and took out my key. Before I got a chance to open the door she ran out and greeted me with a cuddle and a kiss. I was so happy and went in to the house. My mum showed me my room. It was decorated all in blue with a silver border. I was overjoyed and felt accepted back into my once train wreck of a home. It was now tranquil and calm.
Christmas approached and I started a job in the local video rental store. James and Darren sometimes popped into see me but secretly and they both came at different times due to the fact they never spoke anymore. I knew why but didn?t like to talk about it. Darren stole James Girlfriend and this lead to rivalry in the scheme. Darren's gang hung out at the shops and James and his Gang hung out at the park behind the graveyard. I tried to be part of both groups but this grew tiresome and I ended up spending more time in my house to avoid awkward situations and unnecessary conflict. They would never fight due to the history between them but I hated being the man in the middle. Darren stopped seeing Clare because like all teenage relationships it got boring and complicated. Clare tried to get back with James but he would have none of it. Clare left the scheme with a secret and we haven't really spoken to her in a while. Rumours spread about her; apparently she was pregnant with Darren's child.
Darren and Clare started talking again. The rumours that spread through the streets where all true she was pregnant and with Darren's baby. This was as a shock. James and me did the only thing we could do; we wished him luck and told him to make the best choice for the baby's sake, to be a dad. Disputes were left in the past and slowly but surly Clare James Darren and myself became a real close circle of friends. We all supported one another anyway we could and tried to make our lives a little better so we could set an example for the baby when it arrived. Everyone was so excited when Darren got the Call nine months later. We all arrived at the hospital in fancy shirts to greet little Dayton.
It was four days before my 18th birthday I wanted to have the best party ever. We had a lot to celebrate and a lot to look forward to. I decided to go back to college after the October week. I knew I was late in joining a course but the head lecturer let me in anyway, as long as I caught up with the work. I started reading more and becoming a bit more academically smart. I loved the new found freedom that came with getting out of the schemes for most of the week. I went to college and made new mates. Because my mum didn?t work that meant I get paid for going to college. It was sweat and I loved going out and spending the cash on a good night out with mates past and present. When Darren and James met my College mates they were quite reluctant due to the fact all the folk in my college class were upper class and had nice homes and quiet upbringings. There was a culture shock at first but as soon as the drinks started flowing friends where made. It all seemed to be going well and everything was shaping up. My future was set. I just couldn't get distracted. I wouldn't get distracted because everything was fine, mum was in great shape and I was at the peak of my academia.
I hadn't decided what to do after summer and signed on like my mates. Getting money for no reason and sitting about the house getting drunk on my own. Was I going to get trapped in Glasgow? I had to make a change I needed help. I went to my sister's house and sat with a glass of cider. We spoke about mum and how a year of therapy and morphine had helped her cut the habit. My sister kept comparing the way she was to the way I was acting. I argued that I didn't behave that way but in truth I knew I did. We sat in silence for a while and she told me to leave because she was going to bed. I asked her for money. She wanted to know why I needed money and I told her the truth. I needed money for drugs. She refused and started shouting at me. I slammed the door and left the house in a confused state of mind. I knew I had to get money somewhere and the way I felt now I needed to perk up big time. I sat in the close listening to the echo of the neighbours. It was after midnight and I still sat there in my sister's close in a curious state of mind. I had a plan. Was this the right thing to do? I didn't care I needed cash. I crept back up the stairs and twisted the lock on my sister's door. It was always a little loose so I got in no problem. She was asleep I had to be quiet. I went into the living room and saw her watch. She got it for her 20th birthday I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I saw her jacket. It was a designer jacket and knew it was worth at least fifty pounds. I rolled it up and left the living room. As I was walking down the hall I was looking at the family photos on the wall. I crept down to the end of the hall where my sister lay and slowly crept by her room door. I looked inside and seen her sleeping. We shared a room when we lived together and memories of childhood flooded my head. I walked into the room and my shadow appeared on the wall due to the moonlight shining through the window. She sat straight up and looked at me. My eyes were bloodshot and welling up. My facial expression was that of disbelief. I fell to my knees with the watch and jacket in hand. I was crying, I said how sorry I was and continues to cry. Ii pleaded that I needed help and I was sick and twisted and had no control of my life I needed out of my routine I needed help. Please help me. Please? I pleaded. She looked right at me and said ' go to the bottom of the bed you better not stick your feet in my face' I fell asleep.
I stayed with my sister for the next three months and completely stopped taking drugs. It was difficult. I was becoming a different man and I noticed this every day growing stronger and every week getting smarted and better. I couldn?t help but feel guilty and ashamed due to the way I behaved. It was a year of random violence. A year of ill thought and fucked up nights involving drugs and random people who I hardly knew. One day I got dressed and left my sisters house to get the bus to see my mum for the first time. I phoned Darren and James to meet me in the scheme when I got off the bus because I wasn't sure about the place since I left. I walked to my mum?s house and took out my key. Before I got a chance to open the door she ran out and greeted me with a cuddle and a kiss. I was so happy and went in to the house. My mum showed me my room. It was decorated all in blue with a silver border. I was overjoyed and felt accepted back into my once train wreck of a home. It was now tranquil and calm.
Christmas approached and I started a job in the local video rental store. James and Darren sometimes popped into see me but secretly and they both came at different times due to the fact they never spoke anymore. I knew why but didn?t like to talk about it. Darren stole James Girlfriend and this lead to rivalry in the scheme. Darren's gang hung out at the shops and James and his Gang hung out at the park behind the graveyard. I tried to be part of both groups but this grew tiresome and I ended up spending more time in my house to avoid awkward situations and unnecessary conflict. They would never fight due to the history between them but I hated being the man in the middle. Darren stopped seeing Clare because like all teenage relationships it got boring and complicated. Clare tried to get back with James but he would have none of it. Clare left the scheme with a secret and we haven't really spoken to her in a while. Rumours spread about her; apparently she was pregnant with Darren's child.
Darren and Clare started talking again. The rumours that spread through the streets where all true she was pregnant and with Darren's baby. This was as a shock. James and me did the only thing we could do; we wished him luck and told him to make the best choice for the baby's sake, to be a dad. Disputes were left in the past and slowly but surly Clare James Darren and myself became a real close circle of friends. We all supported one another anyway we could and tried to make our lives a little better so we could set an example for the baby when it arrived. Everyone was so excited when Darren got the Call nine months later. We all arrived at the hospital in fancy shirts to greet little Dayton.
It was four days before my 18th birthday I wanted to have the best party ever. We had a lot to celebrate and a lot to look forward to. I decided to go back to college after the October week. I knew I was late in joining a course but the head lecturer let me in anyway, as long as I caught up with the work. I started reading more and becoming a bit more academically smart. I loved the new found freedom that came with getting out of the schemes for most of the week. I went to college and made new mates. Because my mum didn?t work that meant I get paid for going to college. It was sweat and I loved going out and spending the cash on a good night out with mates past and present. When Darren and James met my College mates they were quite reluctant due to the fact all the folk in my college class were upper class and had nice homes and quiet upbringings. There was a culture shock at first but as soon as the drinks started flowing friends where made. It all seemed to be going well and everything was shaping up. My future was set. I just couldn't get distracted. I wouldn't get distracted because everything was fine, mum was in great shape and I was at the peak of my academia.
Comments
Post a Comment