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when time runs out

  When time runs out, when your time is up what do you think happens. I have recently started to deal with the fact that death is an inevitability. I amongst others I imagine have a fear of dying. Some people have witnessed death may seem less afraid, but I know that this is just for show at least in my experience. Those that seem harder skinned are usually just as afraid and deserve to be treated just like anyone else wen the end is near.             That’s where I come in. The door for me to help those in need seems like it should be closed with a big no entry sign above. I do not say this to be cruel or even as a self-doubt. I will explain.               As a child I always had a date in my head. The date is 10/06/2024 this will be my 35 th birthday. I tell you this because I saw this date appear on a wall as I passed by on the bus one day when I was young, later that day on my return leg of the journey the date was gone, not painted over nor covered up just gone. I always ha
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                                                                             my dream                     well better late than never I say.  my dream last night made me think of very odd situations when i woke up. not real situations but the emotion you feel whilst dreaming lingers softly for a few hours just as you wake up. i dreamt of my mum, sisters and stepdad of my mum's previous relationship. so that was fucking weird to say the least.     i was in my old bedroom i mean 17 years ago ve had so many flats since then, my partner jamie was next to me and he told me the only thing i do is bone and the moan. funny stuff i know and then my mum shouted i heard that. my stepfather apologised to me for being a complete cunt that slurred fat jokes and de humanizing phrases at me and also beat my mum up from time to time.      so a lot of feelings when i woke up know it may seem silly. i understand this can be a lot to take but here we are once again fucjed up dream central.  I'll k
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My spiritual confession

My father was never in my life, not that I can remember. One situation I recall is when I was around 5 or 6, my father has been unfaithful to my mum to the point he fathered a child with another woman his name was john we attended nursery school together. I don’t have many memories and it was not until I was older, I found out I had a brother. John was conceived the night my mum was in giving birth to me, that’s right a class act father all the way. One cold and haunting night something very tragic happened. John fell in the park from a high jungle gym type attraction that climbed to the sky. He seemed okay and the night went on to John and his mum gong to the chippy (chip shop). Whilst waiting on his food he slipped on a wet floor and banged his head for a second time in 2 hours. His mum seemed to think he would be alright and continued on with the night john had a best friend called lee whom I know very well. Lee stayed over that night in johns house and lay with him on the couch one
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My mum had a cancer scare.

  I can’t explain the joy you feel when this sort of good news is given. I spent the day feeling stressed, worried, anxious and all together lacklustre and lethargic. It was quite terrifying to say the least but when good news was given, I was over the moon. My mother was taken to hospital as they suspected she may have contracted breast cancer. After some time and a lot of testing the found her to be in good health with no complications. I'm not embarrassed to say I cried because I was so happy. Now for anyone going through this I want you to stay strong and if you ever need to chat do you know where to find me. her words to me where " I'm not going anywhere soon" i dont think ive ever been so happy but also scared simultaneously as one feeling leaves your mind another pushes its was in and all you can do is cry.   
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Dreams

I find myself having irregular Dreams at night, my partner Jamie Thinks these dreams are a bit insane. he finds it odd that i can control my dreams and what happens in them. I had a dream the other night about a war torn country that we seemed to live in. I was on Top of a plane as it Landed in Celebration of some kind of Victory. The plane landed and i got off to a round of cheers by people all wearing the same thing it seemed to be army issued clothing all green and dark with white hats and white stripes. Everyone that passed each other thereafter where presenting the peace symbol to each other. Another Dream i had was That zombies where chasing me , I ran with Jamie and was hiding within the old tenement flats in easterhouse and where hiding there seemed to be zombies and a group of men chasing us all dressed in suits We hid behind a massive photo that had a space between it . I was soon caught and was telling Jamie to run as i witnessed my insides being pulled out and eaten ali
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A power struggle. The Story of St-Dan. By Daniel McCourt

Control of the airports was surrendered to the union. The trains had been stopped boarded and used for shelter by those travelling around the land to find food and energy . The citizens’ fought  themselves. The big Business’s had all fallen and money has became useless.   No one was getting out of Britain. This was it, the beginning of the end. The sun didn't seem to shine so bright but burn with a dark yellow creating day glow that seemed only fitting for the end of days. The union had taken over most of London and was fighting its way north collecting more and more vulnerable people as they traveled, recruiting the easily led and narrow minded. The union consisted of The Master, and Heads Of Region. For each area of the country they name their own one person who has shown loyalty becomes Head Of Region. The union believed in old time laws such as capital punishment for even the smallest crimes. People in the Old country of Scotland now known simply as The North started to get
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Wasted.

Life is lived fast in these parts. Just another rushed day with a fast pace and a negative tone.  Yet another motive in someone's propagandistic mind.  Haunted by routine and prediction through the repetition of actions.  Jealous of the bohemian, devoted to work.  A sheep in a crowd of suits fake smiles and contracts  Afraid to take chances and  is led through life by telephone calls. A mind littered with useless information, imperfections and unsocial obligation. Trapped in this glass cell of business, then nothing but on-line shopping. Graced by praise and inflicted through change. A time keeping, never dating constant burden on the nation. I put it to you his life is wasted.  
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