when time runs out

 

When time runs out, when your time is up what do you think happens. I have recently started to deal with the fact that death is an inevitability. I amongst others I imagine have a fear of dying. Some people have witnessed death may seem less afraid, but I know that this is just for show at least in my experience. Those that seem harder skinned are usually just as afraid and deserve to be treated just like anyone else wen the end is near.

            That’s where I come in. The door for me to help those in need seems like it should be closed with a big no entry sign above. I do not say this to be cruel or even as a self-doubt. I will explain.

 

            As a child I always had a date in my head. The date is 10/06/2024 this will be my 35th birthday. I tell you this because I saw this date appear on a wall as I passed by on the bus one day when I was young, later that day on my return leg of the journey the date was gone, not painted over nor covered up just gone. I always had a bit of a gift when it came to predicting certain events in friends and families lives.  When I saw this date I fely dread and then for it to not be visible any more scared me.

 

            I’m 34 now and in 8 months it will be that date and I as well as being afraid I also feel intrigued. I have always been quite an anxious person and my adult life and life choices have definitely not helped in these matters. I started to think about people who know they are dying and who live for that moment of life with hidden fear and a front for their loved ones. I came to the conclusion that I want to help those in need, those people with no family left to distract them and I believe that if I volunteer in one of these places and help those that need a bit of reassurance that this date I have foreseen will pass with no negativity. So wish me luck and I will keep you up to date.

 

            If I a bog anxious mess of a man can make a difference then maybe just maybe I will be ok or at least less scared.

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